1 | Why Tidy ? How Tidying My Workspace Changed My Life Why Tidying Up Improves Work Performance Are Messy People Really More Creative? The High Cost of Nonphysical Clutter Tidying Up Helps You Find a Sense of Purpose
2 | If You Keep Falling Back to Clutter Visualizing Your Ideal Work Life Tidy Up All in One Go and You’ll Never Rebound Choosing What to Keep Create an Environment Where You Can Focus Let Your Tidying Festival Begin!
3 | Tidying Your Workspace Books: Discover Your Values Through Tidying Papers: The Basic Rule Is Discard Everything Divide Komono into Subcategories Sentimental Items Desk Storage How Tidying Up Can Change Your Life Mifuyu’s Life-Changing Experience From Tidying the Physical Aspects to Tidying the Nonphysical Aspects of Your Workspace
4 | Tidying Digital Work You Don’t Need a Lot of Folders for Your Digital Documents Use the Desktop to Delight Don’t Let Email Take Over Your Work Fewer Apps on Your Phone Means Fewer Distractions
5 | Tidying Time Activity Clutter Disrupts Our Days The Overearning Trap The Urgency Trap The Multitasking Trap Make a Task Pile to Find Out What Your Actual Job Is Evaluate Your Tasks to Make Your Job More Joyful Don’t Be So Fast to Say Yes Add a Daily Joy Create a Clean Space on Your Calendar
6 | Tidying Decisions Most Low-Stakes Decisions Don’t Deserve Your Time and Energy Create a Pile of Medium-and High-Stakes Decisions Sort Through Your Decision Pile Tidying Choices: More Options Aren’t Always Better Good Enough Is Good Enough for Most Decisions
7 | Tidying Your Network How Big a Network Do You Need? Evaluate Your Contacts to Identify Joy-Sparking Relationships How to Make High-Quality Connections
8 | Tidying Meetings Imagine Your Ideal Meeting Gather Your Meetings Separate Messy Meetings from Irrelevant Ones Going to More Meetings Doesn’t Make You More Valuable Anyone Can Bring More Joy to a Meeting Run a Tidy Meeting
9 | Tidying Teams Visualizing Your Ideal Team Make a Teams Pile Evaluate Your Teams Pile Don’t Create Messes for Your Teammates Trust Keeps Teams Tidy Disagreements Don’t Always Make a Mess Clean Up Personal Conflicts Big Teams Are Usually Full of Clutter
10 | Sharing the Magic of Tidying Let Your Tidying Inspire Others Show Care for the Workplace Treasure Your Coworkers
11 | How to Spark Even More Joy at Work Caring for What We Keep Improves Work Performance Adding More Joy to Your Workspace Should You Change Your Job If It Doesn’t Spark Joy? Enjoy the Process of Creating a Joyful Work Life When the Fear of Others’ Opinions Holds You Back Make Time for Honest Self-Reflection Ways We Tidy Up Work as a Couple Your Work and Your Life Are the Sum of Your Choices Maintaining Work-Life Balance Joy at Work Sparks Joy in Life
Notes
Le livre reste intéressant, mais les recommandations et la méthodologie est bien moins concrète, précise et tester selon moi que la méthodologie appliqué à la maison.
Je l’ai lu essentiellement pour les conseils sur le digital mais cela ne m’a pas totalement fait le même effet et la même rigueur appliquée à la maison.
Cela dit il y a quelques notions intéressantes, et j’ai tout même fait quelques tris importants.
“When considering your many work decisions, follow these simple steps:
Forget about the small decisions
Sort & organize the medium decisions
Reserve your mental energy for the highstakes ones
Chapter One: Lesson 1: The Rich Don’t Work for Money Chapter Two: Lesson 2: Why Teach Financial Literacy? Chapter Three: Lesson 3: Mind Your Own Business Chapter Four: Lesson 4: The History of Taxes and the Power of Corporations Chapter Five: Lesson 5: The Rich Invent Money Chapter Six: Lesson 6: Work to Learn – Don’t Work for Money Chapter Seven: Overcoming Obstacles Chapter Eight: Getting Started Chapter Nine: Still Want More? Here Are Some To Do’s
Final Thoughts
Notes
If you want to be the second type of investor you need to develop three main skills:
Find an opportunity that everyone else missed
Raise money
Organize smart people
“They are one skill away from great wealth”
“You want to know a little about a lot” was rich dad’s suggestion.
“Workers work hard enough to not be fired, and owwners pay just enough so that workers won’t quit”
“The primary difference between a rich person and a poor person is how they manage fear.”
WEEK 1 – Recovering a Sense of Safety WEEK 2 – Recovering a Sense of Identity WEEK 3 – Recovering a Sense of Power WEEK 4 – Recovering a Sense of Integrity WEEK 5 – Recovering a Sense of Possibility WEEK 6 – Recovering a Sense of Abundance WEEK 7 – Recovering a Sense of Connection WEEK 8 – Recovering a Sense of Strength WEEK 9 – Recovering a Sense of Compassion WEEK 10 – Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection WEEK 11 – Recovering a Sense of Autonomy WEEK 12 – Recovering a Sense of Faith
EPILOGUE The Artist’s Way Questions and Answers Creative Clusters Guide
Notes
Synchronicity : Chief among these changes will be the triggering of synchronicity: we change and the universe furthers and expands that change. I have an irreverent shorthand for this that I keep taped to my writing desk: “Leap, and the net will appear.”
Basic Principles
Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.
There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life—including ourselves.
When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator’s creativity within us and our lives.
We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.
Creativity is God’s gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.
The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.
When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.
As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.
It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.
Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.
Creative affirmations
Rules of the road
In order to be an artist, I must:
Show up at the page. Use the page to rest, to dream, to try.
Fill the well by caring for my artist.
Set small and gentle goals and meet them.
Pray for guidance, courage, and humility.
Remember that it is far harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work.
Be alert, always, for the presence of the Great Creator leading and helping my artist.
Choose companions who encourage me to do the work, not just talk about doing the work or why I am not doing the work.
Remember that the Great Creator loves creativity.
Remember that it is my job to do the work, not judge the work.
Place this sign in my workplace: Great Creator, I will take care of the quantity. You take care of the quality.
“Anger is not the action itself It is action’s invitation.”
“At night, before we fall asleep, we can list areas in which we need guidance. In the morning, writing on these same topics, we find ourselves seeing previously unseen avenues of approach. Experiment with this two-step process: ask for answers in the evening; listen for answers in the morning. Be open to all help.”
Blasting through blocks
“Beginning any new project, it’s a good idea to ask your artist a few simple questions. These questions will help remove common bugaboos standing between your artist and the work. These same questions, asked when work grows difficult or bogs down, usually act to clear the obstructed flow.
List any resentments (anger) you have in connection with this project. It does not matter how petty, picky, or irrational these resentments may appear to your adult self. To your artist child they are real big deals: grudges. Some examples: I resent being the second artist asked, not the first. (I am too the best.) … I resent this editor, she just nitpicks. She never says anything nice…. I resent doing work for this idiot; he never pays me on time.
Ask your artist to list any and all fears about the projected piece of work and/or anyone connected to it. Again, these fears can be as dumb as any two-year-old’s. It does not matter that they are groundless to your adult’s eye. What matters it that they are big scary monsters to your artist. Some example: I’m afraid the work will be rotten and I won’t know it…. I’m afraid the work will be good and they won’t know it…. I’m afraid all my ideas are hackneyed and outdated…. I’m afraid my ideas are ahead of their time…. I’m afraid I’ll starve…. I’m afraid I’ll never finish…. I’m afraid I’ll never start…. I’m afraid I will be embarrassed (I’m already embarrassed)…. The list goes on.
Ask yourself if that is all. Have you left out any itsy fear? Have you suppressed any “stupid” anger? Get it on the page.
Ask yourself what you stand to gain by not doing this piece of work. Some examples: If I don’t write the piece, no one can hate it…. If I don’t write the piece, my jerk editor will worry…. If I don’t paint, sculpt, act, sing, dance, I can criticize others, knowing I could do better.
Make your deal. The deal is: “Okay, Creative Force, you take care of the quality, I’ll take care of the quantity.” Sign your deal and post it.
A word of warning: this is a very powerful exercise; it can do fatal damage to a creative block.
“One of our great cultural secrets is the fact that artists like other artists. Think about it for just a second: What did the Impressionists paint? Lunch … with each other.”
A. Annales des Rois et des Seigneurs Souverains I – Les Rois Numénoriens II – La maison d’Eorl III – Les Gens de Durïn B – Annales – Chronologie des Terres Anciennes C – Arbres généalogiques D – Langues et Peuples du Tiers Age
Notes
Ce que j’ai le plus apprécié est les détails et la fin de l’histoire qui est bien plus complète dans le livre que dans le film.
Rule #2: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You (Or, the Importance of Skill)
Chapter Four: The Clarity of the Craftsman
Chapter Five: The Power of Career Capital
Chapter Six: The Career Capitalists
Chapter Seven: Becoming a Craftsman
Summary of Rule #2
Rule #3: Turn Down a Promotion (Or, the Importance of Control)
Chapter Eight: The Dream-Job Elixir
Chapter Nine: The First Control Trap
Chapter Ten: The Second Control Trap
Chapter Eleven: Avoiding the Control Traps
Summary of Rule #3
Rule #4: Think Small, Act Big (Or, the Importance of Mission)
Chapter Twelve: The Meaningful Life of Pardis Sabeti
Chapter Thirteen: Missions Require Capital
Chapter Fourteen: Missions Require Little Bets
Chapter Fifteen: Missions Require Marketing
Summary of Rule #4
Conclusion
Notes
Extraits brut du livre
Career Capital
“Importance of the craftsman mindset : the traits that make a great job great are rare and valuable, and therefore, if you want a great job, you need to build up rare and valuable skills—which I call career capital—to offer in return.”
Traits that define Great Work
Creativity
Impact
Control
Basic economic theory
If you want something that’s both rare and valuable, you need something rare and valuable to offer in return—this is Supply and Demand 101.
Control
Build career capital : something you are good at and that’s relevent for the company before having too much control.
You need something valuable to offer in return for this powerful trait. In other words, she tried to obtain control without any capital to offer in return, and ended up with a mere shadow of real autonomy. Ryan of Red Fire Farm, by contrast, avoided this trap by building up a decade’s worth of relevant career capital before taking the dive into full-time farming.
Law of Remarkability
“For a mission-driven project to succeed, it should be remarkable in two different ways. First, it must compel people who encounter it to remark about it to others. Second, it must be launched in a venue that supports such remarking.”
So Mark, What the Fuck Is the Point of This Book Anyway?
CHAPTER 2: Happiness Is a Problem
The Misadventures of Disappointment Panda
Happiness Comes from Solving Problems
Emotions Are Overrated
Choose Your Struggle
CHAPTER 3: You Are Not Special
Things Fall Apart
The Tyranny of Exceptionalism
B-b-b-but, If I’m Not Going to Be Special or Extraordinary, What’s the Point?
CHAPTER 4: The Value of Suffering
The Self-Awareness Onion
Rock Star Problems
Shitty Values
Defining Good and Bad Values
CHAPTER 5: You Are Always Choosing
The Choice
The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy
Responding to Tragedy
Genetics and the Hand We’re Dealt
Victimhood Chic
There Is No “How”
CHAPTER 6: You’re Wrong About Everything (But So Am I)
Architects of Our Own Beliefs
Be Careful What You Believe
The Dangers of Pure Certainty
Manson’s Law of Avoidance
Kill Yourself
How to Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself
CHAPTER 7: Failure Is the Way Forward
The Failure/Success Paradox
Pain Is Part of the Process
The “Do Something” Principle
CHAPTER 8: The Importance of Saying No
Rejection Makes Your Life Better
Boundaries
How to Build Trust
Freedom Through Commitment
CHAPTER 9: . . . And Then You Die
Something Beyond Our Selves
The Sunny Side of Death
Notes
“It then follows that finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy. Because if you don’t find that meaningful something, your fucks will be given to meaningless and frivolous causes.”
Self-awareness onion layers :
A simple understanding of one’s emotions. “This is when I feel happy.” “This makes me feel sad.” “This gives me hope.”
An ability to ask why we feel certain emotions.
Our personal values: Why do I consider this to be success/failure? How am I choosing to measure myself? By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?
“Take a moment and think of something that’s really bugging you. Now ask yourself why it bugs you. Chances are the answer will involve a failure of some sort. Then take that failure and ask why it seems “true” to you. What if that failure wasn’t really a failure? What if you’ve been looking at it the wrong way?”
Good values are
Reality-based
Socially constructive
Immediate and controllable.
Good, healthy values: honesty, innovation, vulnerability, standing up for oneself, standing up for others, self-respect, curiosity, charity, humility, creativity.
Bad, unhealthy values: dominance through manipulation or violence, indiscriminate fucking, feeling good all the time, always being the center of attention, not being alone, being liked by everybody, being rich for the sake of being rich, sacrificing small animals to the pagan gods.
What “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life.
Responsability ==> Power
“With great responsibility comes great power.” The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.
Life = Poker
“I see life in the same terms. We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with. People who consistently make the best choices in the situations they’re given are the ones who eventually come out ahead in poker, just as in life. And it’s not necessarily the people with the best cards.”
Less certainty
“And it’s in these moments of insecurity, of deep despair, that we become susceptible to an insidious entitlement: believing that we deserve to cheat a little to get our way, that other people deserve to be punished, that we deserve to take what we want, and sometimes violently.”
“The more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel in knowing what you don’t know.”
“The more we admit we do not know, the more opportunities we gain to learn.”
Manson’s law of avoidance
“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”
Rule of life
“If it’s down to me being screwed up, or everybody else being screwed up, it is far, far, far more likely that I’m the one who’s screwed up.”
Achieve Meaning
“Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in one’s life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or (gulp) one person.”
Russian society & trust
“Russian society found the most valuable currency to be trust. And to build trust you have to be honest. That means when things suck, you say so openly and without apology. People’s displays of unpleasant honesty were rewarded for the simple fact that they were necessary for survival—you had to know whom you could rely on and whom you couldn’t, and you needed to know quickly.”
Parent relationship = Love relationship
“This goes not just for romantic relationships, by the way, but also for family relationships and friendships. An overbearing mother may take responsibility for every problem in her children’s lives. Her own entitlement then encourages an entitlement in her children, as they grow up to believe other people should always be responsible for their problems. (This is why the problems in your romantic relationships always eerily resemble the problems in your parents’ relationship.)”
Healthy/Unhealthy relationships
“The mark of an unhealthy relationship is two people who try to solve each other’s problems in order to feel good about themselves. Rather, a healthy relationship is when two people solve their own problems in order to feel good about each other.”
“You both should support each other. But only because you choose to support and be supported. Not because you feel obligated or entitled.”
“Entitled people who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they “fix” their partner and save him or her, they will receive the love and appreciation they’ve always wanted.”
Obligation/Voluntarity
“It can be difficult for people to recognize the difference between doing something out of obligation and doing it voluntarily. So here’s a litmus test: ask yourself, “If I refused, how would the relationship change?” Similarly, ask, “If my partner refused something I wanted, how would the relationship change?””
Unconditional love
“It’s not about giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; it’s about giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives. That’s unconditional love, baby.”
Connaissance de l’autre et confiance : « Je ne suis plus celui que j’étais à la naissance ; toi non plus ; personne, à ma connaissance. En vérité, Fitz, nous ne voyons jamais que des facettes des autres ; peut-être avons-nous le sentiment de bien connaître quelqu’un quand nous percevons plusieurs de ses facettes. Père, fils, frère, amant, époux… nous pouvons être tout cela sans que quiconque nous connaisse dans tous ces rôles. »
January: Clarity February: Passions and Emotions March: Awareness April: Unbiased Thought
Part II: The discipline of Action
May: Right Action June: Problem Solving July: Duty August: Pragmatism
Part III: The discipline of Will
September: Fortitude and Resilience October: Virtue and Kindness November: Acceptance / Amor Fati December: Meditation on Mortality
Staying Stoic A Model of late Stoic Practice
Notes VO
February 8th – Did that make you feel better?
Tu te sens mieux ?
“The next time someone gets upset near you—crying, yelling, breaking something, being pointed or cruel—watch how quickly this statement will stop them cold: “I hope this is making you feel better.” Because, of course, it isn’t. Only in the bubble of extreme emotion can we justify any of that kind of behavior—and when called to account for it, we usually feel sheepish or embarrassed.”
February 19th – The Banquet of Life
“The next time you see something you want, remember Epictetus’s metaphor of life’s banquet. As you find yourself getting excited, ready to do anything and everything to get it—the equivalent of reaching across the table and grabbing a dish out of someone’s hands—just remind yourself: that’s bad manners and unnecessary. Then wait patiently for your turn.”
February 21st – Wish not, Want not
Goals & Want : “When it comes to your goals and the things you strive for, ask yourself: Am I in control of them or they in control of me?“
April 3rd – Deceived and Divided
Bring internal conflict into consciousness : “The Stoics say that that war is usually a result of our conflicting desires, our screwed-up judgments or biased thoughts. We don’t stop and ask: OK, what do I really want? What am I actually after here? If we did, we’d notice the contradictory and inconsistent wishes that we have. And then we’d stop working against ourselves. “
April 13th – Less is more
“Imagine the emperor of Rome, with his captive audience and unlimited power, telling himself not to be a person of “too many words and too many deeds.” Let that be a reminder the next time you feel self-indulgent or a little full of yourself, the next time you feel like impressing people.”
April 20th – Real good is simple
The fundamental goods : “the “good” that the Stoics advocate is simpler and more straightforward: wisdom, self-control, justice, courage. No one who achieves these quiet virtues experiences buyer’s remorse.”
April 26th – Things happen in training
Continual Training : “When you catch an elbow or an unfair blow today, shake off the pain and remind yourself: I’m learning. My sparring partner is learning too. This is practice for both of us—that’s all. I know a bit more about him or her, and from my reaction, they’re going to learn a little bit more about me too.
April 29th – Washing away the dust of life
“Looking at the beautiful expanse of the sky is an antidote to the nagging pettiness of earthly concerns. And it is good and sobering to lose yourself in that as often as you can.”
May 6th – Righteousness is beautiful
Beautiful = human excellence = just, even-tempered, self-controled
“human excellence? Young friend, if you wish to be beautiful, then work diligently at human excellence. And what is that? Observe those whom you praise without prejudice. The just or the unjust? The just. The even-tempered or the undisciplined? The even-tempered. The self-controlled or the uncontrolled? The self-controlled.”
May 12th – Kindness is always the right response
When I see fear in people – as I find myself able to do at times – I can use my kindness.
“Most rudeness, meanness, and cruelty are a mask for deep-seated weakness. Kindness in these situations is only possible for people of great strength. You have that strength. Use it.”
May 15th – Count your blessings
“So today, stop trying to get what other people have. Fight your urge to gather and hoard. That’s not the right way to live and act. Appreciate and take advantage of what you already do have, and let that attitude guide your actions.”
May 21st – What kind of boxer are you?
Philosophy = Preparing ourselves for what may come.
For every challenge I face: this is what I trained for, for this my discipline.
“Otherwise, it would be like the boxer exiting the ring because he took some punches. Actually, you can leave the boxing ring without consequence, but what advantage would come from abandoning the pursuit of wisdom? So, what should each of us say to every trial we face? This is what I’ve trained for, for this my discipline!”
May 28th – The First two things before acting
“Don’t get upset.
Do the right thing.”
Principle of Massive Action : “The next thing to do [2nd thing]—consider carefully the task at hand for what it is, while remembering that your purpose is to be a good human being. Get straight to doing what nature requires of you, and speak as you see most just and fitting—with kindness, modesty, and sincerity.”
June 9th – Solve problems early
“it’s easier to slow it down than to supplant it.”
“Rivers, are easiest to cross at their source.”
June 22nd – The definition of insanity
Insanity = “trying the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.”
August 30th – When you feel lazy
“If you start something and right away feel yourself getting lazy and irritated, first ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If it really is a necessity, ask yourself: What’s behind my reluctance? Fear? Spite? Fatigue?“
August 31st – Consider your failings too
When reprimanding someone – turn back at myself.
“Whenever you take offense at someone’s wrongdoing, immediately turn to your own similar failings, such as seeing money as good, or pleasure, or a little fame—whatever form it takes. By thinking on this, you’ll quickly forget your anger, considering also what compels them—for what else could they do? Or, if you are able, remove their compulsion.“
September 7th – Our hidden power
Hidden power = Ability to use reason & make choices.
September 15th – A garden is not for show
“First practice not letting people know who you are—keep your philosophy to yourself for a bit. […] That is the kind of plant you are, displaying fruit too soon, and the winter will kill you.”
September 16th – Anyone can get lucky, not everyone can persevere
What’s admirable : “the person who perseveres through difficulties, who keeps going when others quit, who makes it to their destination through hard work and honesty? That’s admirable, because their survival was the result of fortitude and resilience”.
October 24th – The fountain of goodness
Dig deep within yourself to find the flow of the fountain of goodness. Just keep digging to find it.
October 25th – Two tasks
Be a good person.
Pursue the occupation that you love.
What is it that only I can do ?
What is the best use of my limited time on this planet ?
November 1st – Accepting what is
2 qualities to have : seing the event as it is & gratitude to it.
“Amor fati (a love of fate). It’s not just accepting, it’s loving everything that happens.”
November 16th – Hope and fear are the same
Hope = Fear = Projections into the future about things we don’t control.
Rule #1: Establish your ideal love weight. Rule #2: Clear out your cupboards and sweep the fridge. Rule #3: Begin a dating detox to reset your metabolism.
Part Two: Date. Rinse. Repeat.
Rule #4: The treadmill won’t run on its own. Climb on and press Start. Rule #5: Choose the right recipes for your dating type. Rule #6: You won’t get skinny by eating the same old sh*t. Rule #7: stop with the comfort foods. It’s okay to be a little hungry.
Part Three: Shortcomings and Love Traps.
Rule #8: Alcohol is not a food group. Respect your limits. Rule #9: Hookups are like french fries. Rule #10: Porn is like chewing gum – all artificial flavor. Rule #11: Stick to natural sugars; Substitutes are bad for your health.
Part Four: Love Rules: The Slow diet for the Long Haul.
Rule #12: Trust your gut and protect yourself with probiotics. Rule #13: Set your own “best before” date. Rule #14: Look for relationship role models. Rule #15: Life is a feast. Take your place at the table.
Notes VO
Rule #4
“Dating apps are genius because they will help you locate potential partners. But only you can figure out which ones are worth meeting. “These are not dating sites, these are introducing sites,” Helen Fisher says. “The only good algorithm is your own brain”.”.
Natural system = getting to know the person
“But it is during those awkward getting-to-know-one-another moments in real-life places that love starts to blossom.”
Tinder thesis
“Rad started Tinder to replicate a coffee shop or bar experience—minus the awkwardness. “The core thesis behind Tinder is that the fundamental thing that prevents people from walking over and saying hello to someone that catches their attention is that there is no context,” he explains. “So there is not a socially acceptable reason to go say hello. The timing might not be right, the circumstances might not be right. Those are external. The internal mechanisms at work are humans’ fear of rejection.”
Power of dating app = expand social network.
Author dating approach : Align, Attract, Assess, Acquire, and Acclimate.
30’/day to swiping.
Rule #9
Relationship working : “By “work,” Fisher means, is this person someone you can explore your sexuality with? Whom you can imagine being truly intimate with? That is what good sex is.”
“By pleasure, he is talking about the warm, hopefully fabulous feeling of having good sex, which is one of several basic ingredients of any healthy and long-lasting relationship.”
Rule #10
“This circles back to knowing what brings you pleasure first and then being able to communicate that to a partner whom you trust.”
Rule #11
“Empathy, the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, is a key ingredient in any relationship.”
Narcissism in men = yes to theses :
Does he talk endlessly about himself?
Does he bad-mouth his ex?
Does he keep asking how much he means to you and then setting up tests where you have to reinforce that he comes first?
Does he criticize your friends? Does he compete for your attention around them?
Does he get jealous of any other people in your life?
Education principle :
“Yes to any of the above is an indicator of a narcissist. Dr. Jean Twenge’s fascinating research specializing in millennials focuses on the uptick of narcissistic traits in a generation she says grew up being told they were special. They turned up for games and got a trophy for participation; their grades were inflated; their parents applauded every cough, spit-up, and burp. Her book Generation Me argues that social media exacerbates all that early parental indulgence. “All the recent changes in our culture, specifically social media and its impact, encourage a cultural individualism,” Twenge explains. “So there is more focus on the self and less on social roles and the collective in general.” This can be good—more positive self-views, she says, and “a trend toward more equality around race and gender.” But it can also lead to greater levels of narcissism. “It’s where the self is all-important and other people are only useful for what they can do for you.””
Rule #12
Case for watching good news instead of bad ones : improve health
“witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the “love hormone,” which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart health”
Rule #14
Arguing rule : “It looked as though it might escalate when the man suddenly said to the woman, “BIC,” and they both calmed down.” BIC = Bollocking In Car.
Truth = “No one emerges well from arguing in front of others.”
Things to look for in couples
“Look for couples who support each other publicly, make each other laugh, celebrate each other’s achievements, smile obligingly as their partner tells a story they have undoubtedly heard a dozen times before. Look at the couples you admire.”
Rule #15
3 pillars of long-lasting love :
“slow love is an organic and healthy process that involves three pillars: lust, romance, and attachment. The first two can happen either first or second. In other words, you can fall in love with someone before you have sex, or you can have sex first and then fall in love. But the attachment stage, that third piece, is what you need for a long-term partner. That takes time, and as much as you would like to, you can’t speed it up.”
““Our expectations have only risen,” Perel says. “We still want everything we wanted from traditional relationships—companionship, economic support, family life, children, and legacy. But on top of it, we want our partner to be our best friend, trusted confidant, passionate lover, and intellectual equal, as well as the best parent.” We live twice as long today as we did a hundred years ago, which puts that much more pressure on this one person.”
World = muddy water : “The world is like muddy water. To see through it, we have to let things settle.”
Exercice from Twyla Tharp to get an interesting goal : “Sit alone in a room and let your thoughts go wherever they will. do this for one minute…. Work up to ten minutes a day of this mindless mental wandering. Then start paying attention to your thoughts to see if a word or goal materialises. If it doesn’t, extend the exercice to eleven minutes, then twelve, then thirteen… until you find the length of time you need to ensure that something interesting will come to mind. The Gaelic phrase for this state of mind is “quietness without loneliness”.”
Recharge by absence of voice : “Rendall Stutman […] once studied how several hundred senior executives of major corporations recharged in their downtime. The answers were thing like sailing, long-distance cycling, listening quietly to classical music, scuba diving, riding motorcycles, and fly-fishing. all these activities, he noticed, had one thing in commun: an absence of voice.”
Get lost in the process, don’t reward results. Don’t aim, detach from result. Manage & Reward the process.
Feeling strong desire : “Epicurus […] came up with a good test anytime he felt himself being pulled by a strong desire: What will happen to me if I get what I want? How will I feel after?“
Seing beauty in everything “Which is why the philosopher must cultivate the poet’s eye – the ability to see beauty everywhere, even in the banal of the terrible.”
“While addiction is undoubtedly a biological disease, it is also, in a more practical sens, a process of becoming obsessed with one’s own self and the primacy of one’s urges and thoughts” ==> Seeking Higher Power.
“To the stoics, their higher power was the logos – the path of the universe“.
“It’s not that we need to believe that God is great, only that God is greater than us.”
“Relationships are not a productivity hack, though understanding that love and family are not incompatible with any career is a breakthrough.”
“No one is alone, in suffering or in joy. Down the street, across the ocean, in another language, someone else is experiencing nearly the exact same thing. It as always been and always will be thus.”
“Finding the universal in the personal, and the personal in the universal, is not only the secret to act and leadership and even entrepreneurship, it is the secret to entering oneself.”
Finding unviversal in personal & personal in universal is key to entering oneself & easing pain.
“Life does that to us. It kicks our ass; Everything we work for can be taken away. All our powers can be rendered impotent in a moment. What follows this is not just an issue of spirit or the mind, it’s real physical question; What do you do with your time? How do you handle the stress of the whiplash? Marcus Aurelius’s answer was that in these situations one must “love the discipline you know and let it support you.”
Notes VF
Monde = eau boueuse : “Le monde est comme l’eau boueuse. Pour y voir clair, il faut laisser les choses s’arranger.”
Exercice de Twyla Tharp pour obtenir un objectif intéressant : “Asseyez-vous seul dans une pièce et laissez vos pensées aller où bon vous semble…. Travaillez jusqu’à dix minutes par jour de cette errance mentale. Ensuite, commencez à prêter attention à vos pensées pour voir si un mot ou un but se matérialise. Si ce n’est pas le cas, prolongez l’exercice à onze minutes, puis douze, puis treize… jusqu’à ce que vous trouviez le temps nécessaire pour vous assurer que quelque chose d’intéressant vienne à l’esprit. L’expression gaélique de cet état d’esprit est “le calme sans la solitude”.
Recharge par absence de voix : “Rendall Stutman (…) a un jour étudié comment plusieurs centaines de cadres supérieurs de grandes entreprises se sont rechargés pendant leurs temps morts. Les réponses étaient des choses comme la voile, le vélo de longue distance, l’écoute tranquille de la musique classique, la plongée sous-marine, la motocyclette et la pêche à la mouche. Toutes ces activités, a-t-il remarqué, avaient une chose en commun : une absence de voix
Perdez-vous dans le processus, ne récompensez pas les résultats. Ne visez pas, détachez-vous du résultat. Gérer et récompenser le processus.
Sentiment d’un désir fort : “Epicure (…) est venu avec un bon test à chaque fois qu’il se sentait tiré par un désir fort : Que m’arrivera-t-il si j’obtiens ce que je veux ? Comment me sentirai-je après ?
C’est pourquoi le philosophe doit cultiver l’œil du poète – la capacité de voir la beauté partout, même dans le banal du terrible.”
“Bien que la dépendance soit sans aucun doute une maladie biologique, elle est aussi, d’un point de vue plus pratique, un processus d’obsession de soi-même et de la primauté de ses pulsions et de ses pensées” ==> Recherche d’une puissance supérieure.
“Pour les stoïciens, leur puissance supérieure était les logos – le chemin de l’univers”. “Ce n’est pas que nous devons croire que Dieu est grand, mais que Dieu est plus grand que nous.”
“Les relations ne sont pas un hacking de productivité, mais comprendre que l’amour et la famille ne sont pas incompatibles avec une carrière est une percée.”
“Personne n’est seul, dans la souffrance ou la joie. En bas de la rue, de l’autre côté de l’océan, dans une autre langue, quelqu’un d’autre vit exactement la même chose. Comme toujours, il en sera toujours ainsi.”
“Trouver l’universel dans le personnel, et le personnel dans l’universel, n’est pas seulement le secret pour agir, le leadership et même l’esprit d’entreprise, c’est le secret pour entrer en soi.”
Trouver l’universel dans le personnel & ; personnel dans l’universel est la clé pour entrer en soi & ; soulager la douleur.
“La vie nous fait ça. Ça nous botte le cul, tout ce pour quoi on travaille peut nous être pris. Tous nos pouvoirs peuvent être rendus impuissants en un instant. Ce qui suit n’est pas seulement une question d’esprit ou d’esprit, c’est une vraie question physique ; Que faites-vous de votre temps ? Comment gérez-vous le stress du coup du lapin ?
Marc Aurèle répondit que dans ces situations, il faut “aimer la discipline que l’on connaît et la laisser vous soutenir”.
Traduit avec www.DeepL.com/Translator (version gratuite)
Encore une fois le livre se déroule au même endroits durant l’ensemble des chapitres, mais un grand moment de convalescence du héros principal fait que ce livre fait du bien et est réconfortant presque.
C’est similaire pour moi aux passages d’Harry Potter où l’on est au calme dans le dortoir de Gryffondor. Ce n’est clairement pas tout le temps cela mais il y a un passage particulièrement touchant.
La construction des magies aussi est intéressante.
Beaucoup de choses se passent dans ce tome même s’il n’en parait pas complètement dans la lecture. C’est dans ce tome que toute l’intrigue se met en place pour les prochains tomes.
Il est intéressant aussi de suivre l’évolution du Prince adolescent, et du héros principal adulte.
Je m’attendais à un peu plus de déroulement d’histoire mais l’intrigue reste très intéressante et on rentre bien dans la suite de l’histoire qui se focalise finalement sur un jeune personnage.
Part One – What You’ve Suspected About Dieting Is True!
Chapter 1 – Diets Don’t Work
Beware: Treacherous Waters
A 99,5% Failure Rate
Never Trust A Weight-loss “Expert” Who Hasn’t Been There
If All Else Fails – Do It Yourself
The Lost Weekend
Do What You Did When What You Did Worked
Thin Crust or Deep Dish?
“They” Didn’t Have The Answer
Diets Do Work – In Reverse!
The Revelation
The World of Thin
The Secrets of “Naturally Thin” People
The “Thinking Person’s” Guaranteed Weight-loss Program
Searching for the Answers That Will Work For You
Chapter 2 – Why Diets Don’t Work: The Diet Mentality
The Diet Mentality
No Way Out
You Can Get There From Here
Chapter 3 – End Weight As A Problem – Forever
The Challenge
You Have To Do It Your Way
Your Best Friend
The “Fat” and “Naturally Thin” Persons Inside You
Part Two – Dismantling The Dysfunctional “Diet Mentality”
Chapter 4 – The Real Reasons You Are Overweight
Your Worst Enemy
The Reasons Why Overweight People Overeat
Behind the Reasons for Eating Too Much: Your Personal Rules
Why Naturally Thin People Are Thin And Stay Thin
Chapter 5 – Why You Haven’t Been To Get (or Stay) Thin
The Best Reasons For Losing Weight
The Best Reasons For Not Losing Weight
Does This Puzzle Have A Solution?
Chapter 6 – What “Naturally Thin” People Think and Do
The Secrets To Being “Naturally Thin”
Portrait of a “Naturally Thin” enter
Levels of Hunger
Each Day In the Life of a Naturally Thin Person
Chapter 7 – The Temptation To Choose “Fat” Over “Naturally Thin”
Bake Someone Happy
About Parents and Fat
Fat and Sex
Fat and power
Fat and Success
The Person in the Mirror
But, What If… ?
The “Fat Person’s” Tactics
The “Fat Person’s” Trump Card
At the Crossroads
Chapter 8 – Making The Choice
Fat and Unhappy
Thin and Miserable
Fat and Happy
Naturally Thin and Happy
Make The Choice
Chapter 9 – Where Do You Go From Here?
If You’ve Chosen To Be Naturally Thin and Happy
Breathing Space
Start On Your Goals
Falling In Love
If You Do Nothing Else…
If You Are Committed To Staying Naturally Thin
One Last Asknowledgment
Notes
C’est clairement le meilleur livre que j’ai lu à ce sujet. Ce sujet remonte à fin 2016 pour moi où j’ai commencé ma petite “spirale autodestructrice” (référence à une scène d’Ocean Eleven’s :) en novembre 2016 avec It Starts With Foods. Moult Yo-Yo de -5kg à + 10kg en quelques semaines seulement.
Le livre est cours mais il est blindé d’exercices, essentiellement répondre à des questions pour prendre conscience. Il flingue pas mal de choses et revient aux basiques. Manger ce qu’on a envie de manger et surtout reprendre conscience de sa faim.
J’ai une note de 8611 mots juste pour ce livre à répondre aux questions. Je suis plutôt appliqué pour ce genre de livre.
Les 4 Principes que j’ai d’abord lu dans Your Money or Your Life et qui m’ont fait lire le livre :
Naturally Thin people do four fundamental things when they eat that overweight people don’t :
A naturally thin person eats only when their body is hungry.
A naturally thin person eats exactly what they want to eat.
A naturally thin person enjoys every bite of food they put in their mouth.
A naturally thin person stops eating when their body is no longer hungry.
Ce n’est pas du tout le type de livre que je vais vouloir lire, mais le sujet de la testostérone était intriguant. Ce livre fait bien le point et il est basé sur beaucoup plus de science et d’études que la plupart des livres sur la nutrition ou le sport que j’ai lu.
3/5 car il y a toute une partie de fond sur la thérapie d’injection de testostérone qui n’était pas du tout mon intérêt. Par contre 3/5 car il y a deux ou trois choses très intéressantes que ce livre m’a apporté.
Mes Notes
La testostérone est une hormone fondamentale chez les hommes. L’oestrogène aussi d’ailleurs est très importante.
Lost generation: 2016 marked a 117-year low in fertility rate in Japan.
We have no rite of passage to mark the transition from adolescence into manhood.
Millennial Complex : many millennials believe that “Be Yourself” means you just have to show up and success is assured.
Hormone is key. Cela me fait penser au meilleur livre que j’ai lu sur la nourriture et la santé : It Starts With Food. Et ce livre se base sur 4 hormones.
Testosterone
In Men, Testosterone is a hormone produced by the testes and is typically associated with increased vigorous, virility, and strength. However, its is multifaceted. It is needed to maintain androgenic (male) sec characteristics such as facial hear, a deeper voice, sperm production, and muscle mass. It has stimulatory effects on bones, libido, mood, cognition centres in the brain, and erectile strength. And it is also known to have a positive impact on metabolic rate, lipids (e.g;, cholesterol), and inflammation.
Study : Between 1973 and 2011, sperm health of 42 935 men (Australia, Europe, North America) : sperm count declined by 50-60%. “Majority of men will be infertile by 2050.
Symptom of Low Testosterone
Anxiety
Diminished libido
Depression
Lethargy
Erectile dysfunction
Lack of motivation and drive
Inability to lose body fat
Inability to gain muscle mass
Reduced cognitive function – including hesitancy and indecisiveness
A man with a muscular physique is attractive to women because, among other things, muscle tone signals dominance, strength, and security. Subconsciously, muscularity also represents traits such as discipline, mental fortitude, and tenacity.
Vitamin D: 1000 – 10 000 IU daily) ~3000-5000 IU daily
Vitamin B complex: 400 mcg of folic acid
Mind-muscle connection
Brain sends signals to muscle fibers to contract. Aim to improve this neurological connection.
==> c’est en gros de la pleine conscience/concentration sur ses muscles pendant un entrainement et l’effort (contrairement à mettre de la musique et un podcast ou autre pour ne pas y penser).
Carving the diamond : One of the best thing you can do for your fitness and life in general is learn to be more patient.
The only person you are ever in competition with is yourself.
Resistance shows up with “any act that rejects immediate gratification in factor of long-term growth, health, or integrity.” Do the Work – Steven Pressfield.
Ego and Non-Judgment
Ego = “If someone has a large ego, they think they are very important and valuable”. Ego is the urge to interrupt others and get your point across because it needs to be “right”. ego is what gets pissed when someone cuts you off in traffic.
Real you = spiritual being that has far more in common with others than it does differences. Ego doesn’t want you to know this. It wants to protect its survival so it perpetuates a state of conflict and division.
Solution = non-judgment. Lots of stuff we do involves labelling/judging. It is black/white vision. Non-judgment is more about researching the truth.
Interview with Andrew Tate – about chess
Andrew = 3 times ISkA Kickboxing world champion. Son of late chess master Emory Tate.
“fighting and chess were quite similar. […] they’re both 1-on-1, it’s still war, there’s no team and there’s no luck involved.”
“You cannot lose a game of chess without making a mistake.”
Chess = Life “there’s no move you can make without counterbalance. Even if it’s the most perfect move in the world, there are always disadvantages. Even if they’re minuscule, they exist.[…] it doesn’t matter what you decide to do, even if you decide to live the perfect life – I’m going to get up at this time, I’m going to train, etc. – there’s a whole bunch of counterbalance you’re missing out on. You’re missing out on partying, the girls, or whatever.”.
“get you own little empire together and you’re going to be a happy individual.”
Depression : “if you’re going to refuse to improve your situation and improve your life, then you’re going to continue to stay depressed”.
“People always insult qualities they don’t have. A weak person isn’t going to stand up and say, “You know what, I am weak, and boing string is really important.” Instead, what they say is, “It’s 2018, we’re not cavemen! And what do you need muscles for, Why do you need to go to the gym? You’re just a meathead, moron!”.
Conclusion
“Most men today lead lives of quiet desperation. Their health in every sense – physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional – is in tatters. As a result, they live a listless existence in a limbo between life and death. They can’t think clearly because their minds are shrouded in fog, they can’t have sex because they can’t get an erection, and they have no energy or passion to follow their dreams. In fact most men are ready for the graveyard by the time they’re 30; You look into their eyes, and the spark that once filled them is no longer present.” Henry David Thoreau.
C’est un livre que j’ai beaucoup apprécié. Je veux me rapprocher un peu plus de la littérature française, et c’était une bonne reprise.
La structure est intéressante, l’histoire se déroule sur quatre étés de 1992 à 1998 année de la coupe du monde, dans une petite ville plutôt estival car il y a un grand lac dans l’est de la France. Nous suivons 3 familles.
C’est touchant. Je me suis replongé dans mon enfance avec les premiers amours, les galères, les histoires de familles et des amis. C’est très nostalgique et mélancolique.
4/5 car c’est très bien écrit. C’est un prix Goncourt donc on pourrait avoir l’impression que ça va être difficile et en fait, c’est très simple et pourtant, malgré un language parfois cru par les personnages jeunes et adolescents, il y a une impression de lire un texte plutôt bien écrit et joli.
Aussi, on se retrouve très facilement dans l’ambiance des années 1990s avec les mêmes expressions que j’entendais et que j’utilisais parfois. C’est étonnant et ça fait que l’on lis très rapidement.
Je pense que ça fait du bien de lire ce genre de chose, qui font revivre des souvenirs posé chez soi.
Throwing The Junk Out (Porn and Masturbation, TV shows, Movies, Video Games, and News)
Things Will Get Harder Before They Get Easier
Log Your Urges
Meditation
Fixing Your Internal Monologue and Mental Narrative (Treat Yourself Like a Friend You Are Responsible For Helping, Re-frame Problems as Opportunities)
No Gossiping
Conquer Your Body
Eat Intentionally
A Guide To Fat Loss
Do Your Research
Develop A Morning Routine
Planning Your Day
Write a Journal and Reflect Upon Your Day
Any Other Habits That You Want To Incorporate
Le livre est court. Et depuis quelques mois, j’aime bien ce type d’approche généraliste de gestion à la fois du corps mais aussi sur les addictions, sur la planification, sur l’approche différente ou ultra pragmatique du journaling et de l’internal monologue.
J’aime beaucoup l’approche d’écrire son autobiographie et j’ai bien commencé mes 90 jours.
4/5 car c’est un sujet que je n’arrive pas à partager avec mon entourage. Pour moi, là à ce moment particulier de ma vie, c’est 4/5 sur la valeur que ça m’apporte. C’est le meilleur outil que je connaisse pour faire une expérience profonde et apprendre rapidement quelque chose.
Le meilleur moyen de comprendre le sujet est de checker le compte twitter de l’auteur : @lifemathmoney.
Mes Notes
Une mission pour 90 jours.
Exercice : Where Do My Wants Come From ?
Write things you want out of yourself over the next 10 years.
Think about each with open mind and ask yourself:
Do I want this or do other people want this of me?
Did I want this or did some TV marketer tell me that I should want it?
Do I want to own this, or do I just want to experience it? Will owning this make me happy or will I be just as satisfied by just experiencing it?
Should find that many things I don’t really want, but just experience it long enough.
Write Own Autobiography
Pick up a paper and pen and write down the story of your life. Divide your life into as many parts as you like: Toddler, Middle School, Adolescence, high School, College, Job, Love, etc.
Write as much as you can remember and write with your heart. Write about the events that took place in your life and write about how you felt and still feel about them. Try to imagine each story playing in your mind like a movie.
12-20 hours to complete, but depend how long you reflect.
Junk habits/activities to abstain :
Social Media
Porn & Masturbation
Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Drugs
Watching TV, Movies, and playing video games
Reading Clickbait pop-culture articles and watching the news.
They give quick dopamine hit without you having to expend any effort to earn that pleasure. They destroy attention span and make brain weaker.
Log Urges
Type
Date & place
How I feel at the moment
1 minutes meditation
Every 30 days open note and look for patterns (time, place, emotional)
Internal Monologue & Mental Narrative
Make internal voice friendly, optimistic, and encouraging. Show myself kindness I would show to a close friend
Reframe: Problems ==> Opportunity
Exercice-routine everyday
60 Jumping Jacks
Stretch
60 Squats
60 Push-ups
60 Sit ups
60 Calf Raises
3* 1′ planks
Increase to 100.
Food
Meat, Fish & Eggs
Dairy
Vegetables
Fruits
Whole Grains
Not Consume:
Anything made in a factory
Processed Food
Refined Sugar
vegetable Oil
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Soft Drinks
Fat Loss
Skip Breakfast
Focus Protein
Eat same times each day
Stop Snacking
No Cheat Days
Planning
Create a rough outline of how your day already looks like:
The Way of the New World Ronin Glossary of Terms 1. Islands, The Game, The Way 2. Jungle Journey 3. Mission is Greatness 4. Full Color Work vs B&W Work 5. War Room Rules 6. Rules of Creation of Genius 7. Respect the Gods 8. Magic of Obsession 9. Master of Destiny 10. Business is War 11. Soldiers of the Mission 12. Magic of Purpose 13. Magic of Momentum 14. Get Right with the Gods Note from Victor Pride
C’est un truc typique de boost et de motivation, mais ça m’a fait du bien !
Dans les livres d’aventure et de fiction, j’apprécie beaucoup les cartes qui indiquent le noms des villes, les montagnes… On retrouve ce même genre de choses dans les sagas telles que Le clan des Otori ou l’Assassin Royal…
Il y a une carte en début de livre mais tout au long de l’histoire on est mêlée à plein de noms de villes et d’éléments géographiques. C’est donc très pratique d’avoir une carte interactive telle que celle-ci : http://lotrproject.com/map/
Cela vous permet de vous y retrouver plus facilement et de mieux comprendre lors de la lecture.
Une forêt vivante
Chacun des 3 tomes du Seigneur des Anneaux se découpent en 2 « livres ».
Dans celui-ci, le premier livre est consacrée au nain Gimli, à l’Elfe Legolas & à l’Humain Aragorn qui retrouvent Gandalf dans la forêt de Fangorn. En parallèle les deux autres Hobbits qui sont capturés par des orcs et s’enfuient dans cette même forêt.
Les deux Hobbits rencontrent un Ent nommé Sylvebarbe parmi les être les plus anciens de l’histoire. Les Ents sont des arbres qui parlent. Avec un peu de recul, c’est fabuleux à quel point Tolkien arrive à donner une âme aux forêts.
Passage qui m’a particulièrement intéressé
Le deuxième livre traite de Sam, Frodon et de Golum. C’est à la toute fin de ce livre (page 516 exactement !) que ce passage existe. Les deux Hobbits ont traversé de nombreuses péripéties et se retrouvent dans un endroit vraiment pas sur avec Golum, leur guide qui est parti justement.
« – Je n’aime rien du tout ici, dit Frodon. Terre, air et eau semblent tous détestables de même. Mais c’est ainsi qu’est tracé notre chemin. – Oui, c’est vrai, dit Sam. Et nous ne serions aucunement ici, si on en avait su plus long avant de partir. Mais je pense qu’il en va souvent ainsi. Les vaillantes choses dans les vieilles histoires et les vieilles chansons, Monsieur Frodon : les aventures, comme j’appelais ça. Je pensais que les merveilleux personnages des contes partaient à la recherche de ces choses parce qu’il les désiraient, parce qu’elles étaient excitantes et que la vie était un peu terne – que c’était une sorte de jeu, pour ainsi dire. Mais ce n’était pas comme ça avec les histoires qui importaient vraiment ou celles qui restent en mémoire. Il semble que les gens y aient été tout simplement embarqués, d’ordinaire – leur chemin était ainsi tracé, comme vous dites. Mais je pense qu’ils avaient trente-six occasions, comme nous, de s’en retourner, mais ils ne le faisaient pas. Et s’ils l’avaient fait, on n’en saurait rien parce qu’ils seraient oubliés. On entend parler de ceux qui continuaient tout simplement – et pas toujours vers une bonne fin, notez ; du moins pas à ce que les gens qui sont dans l’histoire et pas en dehors appellent une bonne fin. Vous savez : rentrer chez soi et tout trouver en bon état, quoique pas tout à fait pareil – comme le vieux Monsieur Bilbon. Mais ce ne sont pas toujours les meilleures histoires à entendre, si elles peuvent être les meilleures dans lesquelles être embarqué ! Je me demande dans quel genre d’histoire nous sommes tombés. – Je me le demande, répondit Frodon. Mais je n’en sais rien. Et c’est la manière d’une histoire véritable. Prends n’importe laquelle de celles que tu aimes bien. Tu peux savoir ou deviner quel genre d’histoire c’est, si elle aura une heureuse ou une triste fin, mais ceux qui sont dedans n’en savent rien. Et on ne voudrait pas qu’ils le sachent. »
J’aime bien ce passage car il redonne du courage pour essayer de se créer une jolie histoire et de vivre une aventure. Du moins c’est comme ça que l’histoire peut nous garder en mémoire.
C’est une jolie manière de dire ce que beaucoup de livres de non-fiction américains tentent d’expliquer.
Livre vs. Film
J’ai vraiment passé un très bon moment à lire ce livre. Le film reprends étonnement bien le livre mais accentue les passages sensationnels tel que la bataille du Gouffre de Helm.
Or, dans le livre, les passages les plus intéressant sont ceux avec les Ents et les deux Hobbits, qui vont ensuite aller détruire la tour de Saroumane. Il y a aussi toute la partie « détectives » de Aragorn, Gimli et Legolas qui tente de retrouver ces deux Hobbits. Cela est très rapide dans le film. Aussi, les discussions de Gandalf qui revient, entre Gandalf et Saroumane et aussi avec le roi Theoden c’est extrêmement puissant.
J’avais déjà lu la biographie de Steve Jobs par cet auteur reconnu. J’ai très souvent vu des recommandations pour cette biographie d’Einstein, alors je me suis lancé dans cet ouvrage de plus de 500 pages, en anglais, comme pour Steve Jobs finalement.
Le travail fait est phénoménal. Il est relativement facile à lire malgré une multitude de propos directement provenant des lettres entre Einstein et les autres personnes.
Il est difficile d’expliquer la puissance de lecture que ce livre procure.
Il traite une multitude d’événements géopolitiques et scientifique majeurs sous l’œil d’un personnage fabuleux qui a directement ou indirectement participé.
Lorsque l’on a fait un peu de science on est vite mêlé à tout un tas de noms de théorèmes et il est très agréable de relier tous ces théorèmes à toutes ces personnalités scientifiques qui existaient du temps d’Einstein et avec qui il a eu beaucoup d’échanges.
Cela dit, l’ouvrage est très abordable scientifiquement et c’est d’ailleurs très intéressant de voir les expériences de pensées qui ont conduit à des théories qui reste très complexes pour moi.
Tout cela est aussi mêlée à un fort contexte géopolitique : la montée d’Hitler et la ségrégation des juifs, la bombe atomique et la guerre froide.
Les déplacements d’Einstein retrace très bien l’Histoire, et nous pouvons aussi retrouver les considérations politiques et philosophiques.
En jetant un coup d’oeil au sommaire vous pouvez déjà avoir un aperçu de la richesse des événements relatés (2 guerres mondiales, la théorie de la relativité, la théorie de la mécanique quantique, la bombe nucléaire, la création de l’Etat d’Israël…). Dans tous ces domaines, Einstein a été penseurs et acteurs.
Un autre aspect assez peu connu du public est la gestion de la notoriété par un scientifique et sa vie intime et familiale.
Bref pour tout un tas de raison, ce livre est de loin l’un de meilleures lectures.
J’ai attendu ce livre plusieurs mois et je n’ai pas été déçu. Le livre représente les meilleures réflexions sur ce que l’on est en train de vivre avec la photo. Le livre retrace l’histoire de la photo et présente quelques anecdotes très surprenantes.
Un découpage en ères ou révolutions est fait avec notamment le polaroid, la sortie de l’iPhone 4 et plus récemment les applications Snapchat et Instagram. Ce découpage et les réflexions autour sont remplies de vérités.
Ce livre est très bien pour les personnes qui veulent comprendre comment a évoluée, évolue et évoluera la photographie et ce médium à travers de nouvelles révolutions.
C’est un bon moyen de faire évoluer sa vision et sa critique des selfies, des photos verticales des formats numériques et de tous ces nouveaux phénomènes qui sont si présents dans nos vies.
Part 1 Foundations Chapter 1 A Lopsided Arms Race Chapter 2 Digital Minimalism Chapter 3 The Digital Declutter
Part 2 Practices Chapter 4 Spend Time Alone Chapter 5 Don’t Click « Like » Chapter 6 Reclaim Leisure Chapter 7 Join the Attention Resistance
Conclusion
2 Minimalism
Le minimalism est une notion qui est est à la mode mais pas pour autant si bien comprise par les personnes que je peux rencontrer autour de moi. On a beau avoir entendu parler de Zéro Déchet, de Marie Kondo… et pourtant peu de gens ont vraiment fait l’expérience de ces philosophies synergiques.
Depuis les lectures de Zero Waste Home (Zéro Déchet) et de Marie Kondo j’ai beaucoup réfléchi à mon utilisation de la technologie et des médias que j’ai l’impression de maîtriser.
Mais il faut savoir que de nombreux ingénieurs, parmi les plus intelligents de notre planète travaillent à rendre les applications, les médias, les contenus et sites attirants. C’est pourquoi il est interessant de lire des livres permettant de mieux comprendre comment ces technologies fonctionnent.
Ce livre offre une vision claire et quelques principes simple s’appliquant à un phénomène bien trop présent dans notre vie.
L’auteur arrive très bien a recenser toutes les utilisations que j’ai pu faire de manière plus ou moins forte de ces technologies.
Lorsque je parle de technologies ici, je parle de Facebook (l’application mobile, le site, Instagram, WhatsApp et Messenger), Twitter, Snapchat, plus récemment Netflix et aussi Google, Apple qui ont mis sur le marché les objets que nous utilisons pour accéder à ces réseaux. Il y a aussi toutes les panoplies de sites internets et médias que nous consultons parfois de manière addictive.
3 Structure du livre
La première partie se découpe en 3 temps :
Le premier temps nous engage a prendre du recul sur l’ensemble des technologies que nous utilisons. Quels sont les sites et applications que nous utilisons ? Combien de temps consultons nous vraiment ces applications ?
Le deuxième nous engage dans une réflexion et un challenge de 30 jours sur les technologies dont aimerait être maître et non esclave.
Le troisième temps est consacré à la réintroduction de ces technologies.
La deuxième partie propose quelques pratiques simples sur l’utilisation de nos outils technologiques, la consultation des médias et l’aspect social de notre vie.
Le livre nous engage à aller vers des activités plus créatives et moins passives, à des engagements socials plus réels au lieu du like.
4 Réintroduction
J’ai particulièrement apprécié les questions et principes posées sur l’utilité de ces technologies (j’ai laissé en anglais car c’est plus pertinent dans ce genre de champ lexical) :
Does this technology directly support something that I deeply value?
Is this technology the best way to support this value?
To allow an optional technology back into your life at the end of the digital declutter, it must:
Serve something you deeply value (offering some benefit is not enough).
Be the best way to use technology to serve this value (if it’s not, replace it with something better).
Have a role in your life that is constrained with a standard operating procedure that specifies when and how you use it.
5 Le loisir
Les trois principes du loisir que je me suis noté :
Prioritize demanding activity over passive consumption.
Use skills to produce valuable things in the physical world.
Seek activities that require real-world, structured social interactions.
The Search for Happiness Religion, East and West Mindfulness The Truth of Suffering Enlightenment
Chapter 2: The Mystery of Consciousness
The Mind Divided Structure and Function Are Our Minds Already Split Conscious and Unconscious Processing in the Brain Consciousness Is What Matters
Chapter 3: The Riddle of the Self
What Are We Calling “I”? Consciousness Without Self Lost in Thought The Challenge of Studying the Self Penetrating the Illusion
Chapter 4: Meditation
Gradual versus Sudden Realization Dzogchen: Taking the Goal as the Path Having No Head The Paradox of Acceptance
Chapter 5: Gurus, Death, Drugs, and Other Puzzles
Mind on the Brink of Death The Spiritual Uses of Pharmacology
J’ai découvert Sam Harris lors d’une conférence très interessante sur l’intelligence artificielle au coté des plus grands acteurs dans le domaine : Elon Musk, Stuart Russell, Ray Kurzweil, Demis Hassabis, Nick Bostrom, David Chalmers, Bart Selman, and Jaan Tallinn. C’est grâce à cette conférence que j’ai voulu en apprendre plus et que j’ai lu le livre Life 3.0 de Max Tegmark.
3/5 car c’est un sujet délicat et qu’en anglais le livre est plutôt profonds et un peu complexe. Mais il y a tout de même 2 ou 3 choses très importantes.
Mes Notes
C’est le premier livre que je lis qui décrit les sensations ressentis lors de la prise de la MDMA. D’ailleurs MDMA ça veut dire MéthylèneDioxyMéthAmphétamine.
Spiritualité = traduction du grec qui veut dire breath. Ce qui permet de mieux faire l’expérience du présent.
L’expérience de la méditation qui représente bien ce que j’ai pu ressentir aussi personnellement :
“There were periods during which all thought subsided, and any sense of having a body disappeared. What remained was a blissful expanse of conscious peace that had no reference point in any of the usual sensory channels. Many scientists and philosophers believe that consciousness is always tied to one of the five senses—and that the idea of a “pure consciousness” apart from seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching is a category error and a spiritual fantasy. I am confident that they are mistaken”
Une définition de la pleine conscience :
“Consciousness is the prior condition of every experience; the self or ego is an illusory appearance within it; look closely for what you are calling “I,” and the feeling of being a separate self will disappear; what remains, as a matter of experience, is a field of consciousness—free, undivided, and intrinsically uncontaminated by its ever-changing contents.”
L’exercice du blindspot (point aveugle/angle mort) de l’oeil :
Hold this figure in front of you at arm’s length.
Close your left eye and stare at the cross with your right.
Gradually move the page closer to your face while keeping your gaze fixed on the cross.
Notice when the dot on the right disappears.
Once you find your blind spot, continue to experiment with this figure by moving the page back and forth until any possibility of doubt about the existence of the blind spot has disappeared.
“My mind begins to seem like a video game: I can either play it intelligently, learning more in each round, or I can be lulled in the same spot by the same monster, again and again.”
Learn To Please The Only Person Who Really Matters
Make Your Needs A Priority
Reclaim Your Personal Power
Reclaim Your Masculinity
Get The Love You Want: Success Strategies For Intimate Relationships
Get The Sex You Want: Success Strategies For Satisfying Sex
Get the Life You Want: Discover Your Passion And Potential In Life, Work, And Career
Epilogue
Mes notes
Les Breaking Free Activity font réfléchir et changer ma vision.
La #28 m’a particulièrement touché :
“Embracing masculinity involves coming to see Dad more accurately. To facilitate this process, create a list. On the left side, list a number of your father’s characteristics. Write the opposite characteristic on the right side. Indicate where on the spectrum between the two that you see yourself.”
Intimité
“I define intimacy as “knowing the self, being known by another, and knowing another.” Intimacy requires two people who are willing to courageously look inward and make themselves totally visible to another. Internalized toxic shame makes this kind of exposure feel life-threatening for Nice Guys.”
“If he was abandoned in childhood, he may choose partners who are unavailable or unfaithful.”
Sex
“For Nice Guys, sex is where all of their abandonment experiences, toxic shame, and dysfunctional survival mechanisms are focused and magnified.”
Good Sex
“Good sex consists of two people taking full responsibility for meeting their own needs. It has no goal. It is free of agendas and expectations. Rather than being a performance, it is an unfolding of sexual energy.
It is about two people revealing themselves in the most intimate and vulnerable of ways. Good sex occurs when two people focus on their own pleasure, passion, and arousal, and stay connected to those same things in their partner. All of these dynamics allow good sex to unfold in unpredictable, spontaneous, and memorable ways.”
1. Extreme Ownership 2. No Bad Teams, Only Bad Leaders 3. Believe 4. Check the Ego
II. Laws of Combat
5. Cover and Move 6. Simple 7. Prioritize and Execute 8. Decentralized Command
III. Sustaining Victory
9. Plan 10. Leading Up and Down the Chain of Command 11. Decisiveness amid Uncertainty 12. Discipline Equals Freedom – The Dichotomy of Leadership
Les auteurs sont d’anciens Navy SEAL et tentent de tirer certaines leçons générales de leurs missions militaire pour pouvoir appliquer cela dans la vie civile.
Extreme Ownership
Le concept d’Extreme Ownership est à la fois simple mais profond.
Sur votre projet, vous êtes le responsable de tout ce qui peut mal aller. Même si les personnes qui travaillent pour vous ont fait des erreurs, la première chose à faire est de prendre la pleine responsabilité et de se remettre en question soi-même.
Le concept d’introspection est assez courant dans les ouvrages américains de non-fiction classiques.
Je trouve cela utile car ça permet de ne pas être trop dépendant de la société et de toujours avoir un levier d’action, soi-même.
Le leadership dans l’interaction avec son supérieur
Il s’agit selon moi d’un contenu peu courant et le plus interessant après la thèse principale du livre.
Dans la dernière partie le chapitre traitant du thème “leading up the chain of command” m’a donné beaucoup d’éléments pour regarder d’un oeil totalement nouveau la relation avec son supérieur hiérarchique.
Les exemples
Les exemples militaires sont à la fois extrêmement puissants et simples. Puissant car cela implique toujours la vie de personnes, et simple dans le sens où intellectuellement ce n’est pas un domaine qui requiert des connaissances scientifiques ou spécifiques élevées.
Il s’agit de déplacements, d’équipements différents, d’avancer dans une ville, de changement de lieux et de destruction d’un bâtiment.
Nous sommes aussi habitué à ce thème récurent dans les films et les séries.
Les leçons du livre sont donc intelligibles.
Déléguer et l’Incertitude
Finalement les deux autres concepts qui m’ont plus sont les concepts de déléguer et de décider avec une marge d’incertitude.
Les exemples sont probants et permettent d’avoir un bel aperçu et un fondement simple pour soi.
Ce livre permet de prendre une bonne respiration et d’être plus courageux dans ses propres décisions. Cela donne une bonne marche à suivre.
Marketing Changes People Through Stories, Connections, and Experience
The Smallest Viable Market
In Search of “Better”
Beyond Commodities
The Canvas of Dreams and Desires
More of the Who: Seeking the Smallest Viable Market
People Like Us Do Things Like This
Trust and Tension Create Forward Motion
Status, Dominance, and Affiliation
A Better Business Plan
Semiotics, Symbols, and Vernacular
Treat Different People Differently
Reaching the Right People
Price Is a Story
Permission and Remarkability in a Virtuous Cycle
Trust Is as Scarce as Attention
The Funnel
Organizing and Leading a Tribe
Some Case Studies Using the Method
Marketing Works, and Now It’s Your Turn
Marketing to the Most Important Person
Mes Notes
Marketing
Marketing is the generous act of helping someone solve a problem. Their problem. It’s a chance to change the culture for the better. Marketing involves very little in the way of shouting, hustling, or coercion. It’s a chance to serve, instead.
The internet is the first mass medium that wasn’t invented to make marketers happy. Television was invented to hold TV ads, and radio was invented to give radio ads a place to live.
Marketing in five steps
Invent a thing worth making, with a story worth telling, and a contribution worth talking about.
Design and build it in a way that a few people will particularly benefit from and care about.
Tell a story that matches the built-in narrative and dreams of that tiny group of people, the smallest viable market.
The step everyone gets excited about: spread the word.
Often overlooked: show up-regularly, consistently, and generously, for years and years-to organise and lead and build a confidence in the change you seek to make. To earn permission to follow up and to earn enrolment to teach.
As marketers, we get to consistently do the work to help the idea spread from person to person, engaging a tribe as you make change happen.
We tell stories. Stories that resonate and hold up over time. Stories that are true, because we made them true with our actions and our products and our services.
We make connections. Humans are lonely, and they want to be seen and known. People want to be part of something. It’s safer that way, and often more fun.
We create experiences. Using a product, engaging with a service. Making a donation, going to a rally, calling customer service. Each of these actions is part of the story; each builds a little bit of our connection. As marketers, we can offer these experiences with intent, doing them on purpose.
The entire organisation works for and with the marketer, because marketing is all of it. What we make, how we make it, who we make it for. It is the effects and the side effects, the pricing and the profit, all at once.
The marketing promise
My product is for people who believe _. I will focus on people who want _. I promise that engaging with what I make will help you get _.
Dance with people
If we can accept that people have embraced who they have become, it gets a lot easier to dance with them. Not transform them, not get them to admit that they were wrong. Simply to dance with them, to have a chance to connect with them, to add our story to what they see and add our beliefs to what they hear.
I have a calling
Yes, you have a calling: to serve people in a way that they need (or want). The opportunity is for each of us to choose a path and follow that, not for your own benefit, but because of what it can produce for others.
Good Stories:
Connect us to our purpose and vision for our career or business.
Allow us to celebrate our strengths by remembering how we got from there to here.
Deepen our understanding of our unique value and what differentiates us in the marketplace.
Reinforce our core values.
Help us to act in alignment and make value-based decisions.
Encourage us to respond to customers instead of react to the marketplace.
Attract customers who want to support business that reflect or represent their values.
Build brand loyalty and give customers a story to tell;
Attract the kind of like-minded employees we want.
Help us to stay motivated and continue to do work we’re proud of.
What I sell
When you’re marketing change, you’re offering a new emotional state, a step closer to the dreams and desires of your customers, not a widget.
We sell feelings, status, and connection, not tasks or stuff.
Communication
Don’t begin with your machines, your inventory, or your tactics. Don’t begin with what you know how to do or some sort of distraction about your mission. Instead, begin with dreams and fears, with emotional states, and with the change your customers seek.
Nobody needs your product
It doesn’t make sens to say “people need a white leather wallet” because:
People don’t need wallet. They might want one, but that’s different.
People might decide that they want a white leather wallet, but they don’t want it because it’s white or because it’s leather; they want it because of how it will make them feel. That’s hat they’re buying: a feeling, not a wallet. Identify that feeling before you spend time making a wallet.
Pricing
We don’t pay tin times extra for more words, a bigger order of French fries, or a louder stereo. Instead, it’s a different extreme, a different story, a different sort of scarcity.
Look for their fears
When someone doesn’t act as you expected them to, look for their fear.
TO-DO
When we’re comfortable realising that our work is to change “a culture,” then we can begin to do two bits of hard work:
Map and understand the worldview of the culture we seek to change.
Focus all our energy on this group. Ignore everyone else. Instead, focus on building and living a story that will resonate with the culture we are seeking to change.
That’s how we make change-by caring enough to want to change a culture, and by being brave enough to pick just one.
Begin with us
The Standing Ovation
How many people are needed to start a standing ovation ? At TED, it only takes three. At a Broadway show, fifteen strangers spread throughout the theatre might be enough. And at a jazzclub, it’s probably not possible.
In a venue of strangers, our desire to fit in is a bit different. At the Broadway theatre, I’m wearing the tourist hat.
The opposite is true among the hardcore jazz fans. They know that jazz fans don’t give standing ovations, not in a club, and the bias of the venue is difficult to change.
Create Tension
When you arrive on the scene with your story, with the solution you have in mind, do you also create tension ? If you don’t, the status quo is likely to survive.
Create tension and relieve that tension with forward motion.
Modern Business Plan sections
Truth
Assertions
Alternatives
People
Money
Strategy
The way you use stories, status, and connection to create tension and forward motion is a strategy.
Simple Marketing Worksheet
Who’s it for?
What’s it for?
What is the worldview of the audience you’re seeking to reach?
What are they afraid of?
What story will you tell? Is it true?
What change are you seeking to make?
How will it change their status?
How will you reach the early adopters and neophiliacs?
Why will they tell their friends?
What will they tell their friends?
Where’s the network effect that will propel this forward?
5. La plus grande escroquerie de l’histoire 6. Bâtir des pyramides 7. Surcharge mémorielle 8. Il n’y a pas de justice dans l’histoire
III. L’unification de l’humanité
9. La flèche de l’histoire 10. L’odeur de l’argent 11. Visions impériales 12. La loi de la religion 13. Le secret de la réussite
IV. La Révolution scientifique
14. La découverte de l’ignorance 15. Le mariage de la science et de l’Empire 16. Le credo capitaliste 17. Les rouages de l’industrie 18. Une révolution permanente 19. Et ils vécurent heureux 20. La fin d’Homo Sapiens
Je ne peux pas mettre moins que 4/5 car le livre couvrent beaucoup de sujets très interessants et propose une vision plutôt claires de notre évolution.
C’est grâce à cette ouvrage que je comprends beaucoup mieux les forces et les pouvoirs de la religion, de l’agriculture, de la science et de l’économie. L’économie combinée à la science a totalement bouleversé notre monde.
J’avais eu un premier paradigme similaire avec l’énergie et notamment la vision pétrolière. La vision proposé par Sapiens complètent très bien cela.
On y apprends beaucoup de faits. J’ai l’impression d’avoir suivi un grand cours de biologie qui propose des hypothèses et se basent sur celles-ci pour avancé. Même si les hypothèses seront fausses dans plusieurs décennies, cela permet tout de même de faire avancé les réflexions. C’est l’important.
For Love Or Money: Valuing Your Life Energy-Work And Income
The Crossover Point: The Pot Of Gold at the End of the Wall Chart
Now That You’ve Got It, What Are You Going To Do With It?
5/5 car c’est un livre qui est extrêmement simple à lire, plutôt ancien et fait donc l’épreuve du temps. C’est le meilleur livre que j’ai lu sur le sujet après en avoir lu au moins 4 ou 5. Il a profondément changé ma vision.
Le système en 9 étapes qu’il propose intègre à la fois le long-terme et le court-terme. Il est bien évidemment à mettre en place tout au long de la lecture, c’est pour cela que sa lecture est plutôt longue, mais cela en vaut largement la chandelle.
C’est la première fois que je vois des sujets comme l’environnement et l’écologie pris en compte dans ce domaine.
Bref, j’ai un système en place qui me libère grandement l’esprit sur ce sujet important qu’est l’argent.
Mes Notes
Financial Independence thinking :
Gaining ==> Financial intelligence : Observe emotions about money objectively
Earning ==> Financial integrity : Impact earning/spending and align financial life with values
Going to ==> Financial independence : Income sufficient for basic needs and conforts from other source than paid employment.
Money = Life-Energy
Transformer nos sommes d’argent en nombre d’heure de vie. Et se poser régulièrement la question si cela vaut autant d’heure à travailler et d’énergie.
Les premières étapes font faire l’état des lieux de l’ensemble de l’argent que l’on a reçu par le passé et ce qu’il nous reste dans le présent.
Ensuite le but est de traquer chaque euros qui sort et qui rentre. Pour obtenir une bonne analyse intelligente et utile il est aussi nécessaire de créer des catégories qui correspondent bien à son style de vie.
Le concept de budget est totalement écarté.
Une fois les catégories faites, le système est globalement mis en place, il ne reste plus qu’une analyse mensuelle à faire.
Tous les mois, une évaluation des dépenses de chaque catégorie est à faire. Plusieurs questions sont à se poser pour chaque catégories pour jauger si le temps et l’énergie correspondante à la somme d’argent est vraiment ce que l’on souhaite.
Par exemple, avoir dépenser 200€ en restaurant ou, en courses, ou en alcool… dans le mois correspondrait à plusieurs dizaines d’heures de travail.
Est-ce que c’est en accord avec comment vous voulez dépenser votre énergie de vie ?
Create Categories and Subcategories for my expenses
Ensuite, vous ferez un graphique simple de votre dépense, de vos revenus par mois. Cela permettra de visualisé l’essentielle sur le long terme.
Vous ajouterez à ce graphique les intérêts mensuels que vous pouvez touchez en investissant votre épargne/capital.
Avec ces trois éléments vous êtes en mesure de voir, sur le long terme, quand est-ce que vous seriez par définition indépendant financièrement. Cela arrivera au croisement de votre courbe de dépenses et de votre courbe d’intérêts mensuels : lorsque votre capital investit sera supérieur à vos dépenses.
Personnellement, pour faire tout ça, j’utilise l’application Spendee pour enregistrer mes dépenses, créer mes catégories et avoir une analyse rapide. Et ensuite j’ai un tableur pour faire mon analyse mensuelle et mes graphiques.
Ce livre est assez touchant. Il raconte l’expérience traumatisante de Sheryl Sandberg la directrice des opération (COO) de Facebook qui a vu son mari mourir.
Voici ce que j’en ai retenu :
Croyances – les Trois « P »
Il y a typiquement 3 croyances qui nous tombent dessus lorsque l’on vit un événement aussi grave :
Personnalisation – La croyance que nous sommes fautifs.
Pervasiveness (omniprésence) – La croyance qu’un événement affectera tous les aspects de notre vie.
Permanence – La croyance que les répercussions de l’événement dureront pour toujours.
Compassion
Le meilleur moyen d’être digne de compassion envers un.e ami.e est la simple présence, prendre conscience et être présent.
Lorsque quelqu’un souffre, nous devons suivre la règle de platine : traiter les autres comme ils veulent être traités. Cela fait référence et est une évolution de la règle d’or : « Ne fais pas à autrui ce que tu n’aimerais pas que l’on te fasse ».
La compassion envers soi-même qui est tout aussi importante vient de la reconnaissance du fait que nos imperfections font partie de l’être humain.
Blâmer l’action plutôt que le caractère : se sentir coupable au lieu d’avoir honte est mieux.
La culpabilité peut être une motivation à s’améliorer, la honte fait que l’on peut se sentir sans valeur et petit.
Inspirations et concepts
Le journal du soir : écrire 3 bonnes choses faites aujourd’hui chaque soir.
Aller de l’avant pour rebondir – 5 manières post-traumatiques de grandir :
Trouver une force personnelle « Ce qui ne me tue pas me rend plus fort » de Nietzsche (pour une fois que le correcteur automatique est maxi efficace !).
// C’est assez drôle car j’ai d’abord rencontré cette phrase/citation dans une chanson bien commerciale de Kelly Clarkson – Stronger remixée par je ne sais plus quel DJ et je n’avais jamais cru que cela venait d’un philosophe.
Gagner de l’estime.
Établir des relations plus profondes.
Découvrir plus de sens dans la vie.
Voir de nouvelles possibilités.
« Laissez-moi tomber si je dois échouer. Celui que je deviens me rattrapera. »
« Je n’allais pas être un produit de mon ADN. J’allais être le produit de mes actions »
Concepts utiles pour l’éducation des enfants :
Quand les enfants ont une bonne note, au lieu de dire «»Bon travail” plutôt dire «»”Je suis content que tu ais fait de ton mieux” c’est de la traduction basique mais l’idée est intéressante. Le but est d’enseigner aux enfants que surmonter les difficultés est notre façon de grandir. Il faut normaliser la lutte permanente. Cela est très bien décrit dans le livre The Obstacle Is The Way de Ryan Holiday que j’ai résumé dans cet article. L’échec doit être compris comme une possibilité de grandir et d’apprendre.
Quand un enfant éprouve des difficultés en mathématiques :
« le sentiment que les mathématiques sont difficiles, c’est la sensation que ton cerveau grandit ».
Ce livre part du précepte suivant : Marc Aurèle, le dernier des 5 good empereurs romains avait écrit pour lui-même l’une des formules les plus efficaces pour surmonter toutes les situations négatives que nous pouvons rencontrer dans la vie quotidienne : renverser les obstacles.
Il est organisé en trois parties représentant le chemin à travers les obstacles :
1 La perception : le jugement objectif dans l’instant présent
2 L’action : agir de manière désintéressée dans l’instant présent
3 La volonté : l’acceptation volontaire des événements
En clair, la vie est une suite d’obstacles et votre bonheur dépendrait donc de comment nous les gérons. Plus nous les acceptons, plus nous pouvons aimer le fait de les résoudre. Cela reprend les images philosophiques du fleuve ou encore du voilier qui adapte ses voiles en fonction du vent mais n’avance pas s’il est face à ce vent.
Ce livre est très lié au stoïcisme.
Ce que j’ai retenu et appliqué
Je prends un peu plus la vie et les événements que je ne peux pas contrôler comme ils viennent. Je prends un peu plus de temps pour m’atteler à une tâche sérieuse et je suis plus enclin à faire cette tâche et de la faire bien.
Je m’organise de manière à travailler par tranche d’une à deux heures. L’application Forest m’aide à ne pas être distrait par mon téléphone. J’essaye de me concentrer sur un projet pro ou perso et d’accomplir quelque chose d’utile. Une grande partie de mon travail va être de décortiquer des problèmes ou des tâches/mails avec des demandes trop génériques. “Ranger ma chambre” comporte plusieurs actions sous-jacentes spécifiques.
Je me laisse plus de temps et me mets moins de pression pour un projet qu’avant. Si je prévois une heure pour un projet, ce n’est plus très grave si je ne sais pas ce que je dois faire exactement dans ce projet, je prends les premières minutes pour réfléchir à ce qu’il convient de faire et c’est assez nouveau pour moi finalement.
Un autre concept que j’ai pu appliqué directement dans ma vie est celui de l’anticipation. J’ai déjà pu lire ce type de concept dans d’autres livre mais il était plus intelligible dans ce livre. J’anticipe beaucoup plus les moments de la journée qui vont être clairement des obstacles à ce que j’ai fondamentalement envie de faire. je vais par exemple prévoir que mon cerveau va me jouer des tours et va penser à une pizza ou ce genre de bouffes bien saine le soir lorsque je rentre seul et que je me suis prévu des choses importantes à faire. Petit à petit je contrôle mieux mes émotions qui peuvent très facilement être négatives et nombreuses lorsque je n’y porte aucune attention.
Le livre est très agréable à lire, bien aéré avec des chapitres plutôt courts et illustrés d’exemples et d’anecdotes de grandes personnalités mondiales – typique d’un bon bestseller américain.
Quelques citations
Pour les investisseurs notamment :
“Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful” – Warren Buffet
Elle illustre parfaitement la situation avec l’achat de bitcoin. Lorsque tout le monde est confiant et achète l’action c’est à ce moment qu’il faut être réservé et inversement. Par expérience personnelle avec l’investissement, c’est plutôt vrai.
“Genius is the ability to put into effect what it is in your mind. There is no other definition of it” – F. Scoot Fitzgerald
“An Entreprepreneur is someone with faith in their ability to make something where there was nothing before.”.
« L’expérience la plus belle et la plus profonde que puisse faire l’homme est celle du mystère. » Albert Einstein
Sommaire
Première partie Au pied de la montagne blanche
Partir
Le monastère
Tenzin
Une source, un éléphant et une montagne
Emois amoureux
Songes
L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux
Le cerf-volant et l’Âme du monde
Deuxième partie Les sept clés de la sagesse
Premier jour : Le port et la source Du sens de la vie Deuxième jour : Le noble attelage Du corps et de l’âme Troisième jour : Va vers toi-même De la vraie liberté Quatrième jour : Ouvre ton coeur De l’amour Cinquième jour : Le jardin de l’âme Des qualités à cultiver et des poisons à rejeter Sixième jour : Ici et maintenant De l’art de vivre Septième jour : Le bonheur et le malheur sont en toi De l’acceptation de ce qui est
Troisième partie Et l’obscurité se fera sur toute la terre
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less: Learn to read body language, synchronise behaviour and make warm, meaningful connections – for all occasions, business, social and personal.
“The “secret” of success is not very hard to figure out. The better you are at connecting with other people, the better the quality of your life.”
Preface
Contents
Part One: first contact
1. People Power The Benefits of Connecting Face to face Why Likability Works Why 90 Seconds?
2. First Impressions The Meeting An Exercise in Greeting: Firing Energy Establishing Rapport Communicating What’s Coming Up
Part Two: the 90-second land of rapport
3. “There’s Something About This Person I Really Like!” Natural Rapport Rapport by Change Rapport by Design Common Ground
4. Attitude Is Everything A Really Useful Attitude A Really Useless Attitude It’s Your Choice An Exercise in Attitude: Triggering Happy Memories
5. Actions Do Speak Louder than Words Body Language Flirting Congruity Mixed Messages An Exercise in Congruity Word vs. Tone Being Yourself
6. People Like People like Themselves Natural Synchrony The Art of Synchronizing The Bully Doing What Comes Naturally An Exercise in Synchrony: In and Out of Sync
Part Three: the secrets of communication
7. It’s Not All Talk – It’s Listening, Too Stop Talking and Start Asking! Missed Cues Active Listening Give and Take Talking in Color An Exercise in Tonality: Sound Effects Lasting Impressions
8. Making Sense off Our Senses Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic? A Self-Test: What’s Your Favorite Sense? Tuning In to Sensory Preferences Metaphorically Speaking Sights and Sounds
9. Spotting Sensory Preferences Sensory Preference Profiles TV Giveaways Pushing for More Verbal Cues Eye Cues An Exercise in Spotting Preferences: Brain Lock
Notes
J’aime bien les concepts de communication non verbales et ce livre permets de comprendre facilement et d’y voir un peu plus clair sur ces phénomènes.
Habit 1 – Be Proactive Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind Habit 3 – Put First Things First
Part Three: Public Victory
Paradigms of Interdependence Habit 4 – Think Win/Win Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Habit 6 – Synergize
Part Four: Renewal
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw Inside-Out Again
Afterword
Notes
Deuxième livre fondateur que j’ai lu après le premier GTD.
Les notions de paradigmes, de proactivité, d’objectif, de priorité, d’interdépendance et de négociation qu’il y a dans ce livre sont extrêmement puissantes.
Pour moi cela représente les traditions et ce qu’il peut y avoir de positif de la culture américaine.
De la même manière que GTD les exercices à chaque fin d’habitude rendent les explications du livre très concrètes.
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity
Sommaire
Part 1 – The Art of Getting Things Done
1 – A New Practice for a New Reality 2 – Getting Control of Your Life: The Five Stages of Mastering Workflow 3 – Getting Projects Creatively Under Way: The Five Phases of Project Planning
Part 2 – Practicing Stress-Free Productivity
4 – Getting Started: Setting Up the Time, Space and Tools 5 – Collection: Corralling Your “Stuff” 6 – Processing: Getting “In” to Empty 7 – Organizing: Setting Up the Right Buckets 8 – Reviewing: Keeping Your System Functional 9 – Doing: Making the Best Action Choices 10 – Getting Projects Under Control
Part 3 – The Power of the Key Principles
11 – The Power of the Collection Habit 12 – The Power of the Next-Action Decision 13 – The Power of Outcome Focusing
Conclusion
20190507 Application utilisée par l’auteur
Sur l’épisode du podcast de Tim Ferriss, David Allen parle de l’appli Braintoss pour facilement envoyer ses bouts de pensées dans ses mails.
C’est le truc digital qu’il ytilise et je trouve ça pas trop mal pour l’instant car j’aime bien mon mail comme moyen de gérer mes tâches.
Notes
C’est le premier livre de non-fiction que j’ai lu. Ce livre a été le début pour moi d’une habitude de lecture en tout genre.
Je n’étais pastrès en anglais à l’époque mais j’ai lu les plus de 200 pages du livre en pdf que j’avais sur mon ordinateur en quelques semaines à peine.
Les principes évoqués sur l’age de l’information sont clairement encore valide.
L’ensemble des applications de gestion de tâches sérieuses partent de ce livre.
Ce qui m’a plus :
L’explication claire des différentes utilités de ce qui peut paraitre une panoplie de trucs qui sert à rien et qu’on utilise un peu/qu’on test sans grade conviction : les rappels, les notes, papier/digital, calendrier…
Une deuxième partie “exercice” ou on suit ce qui est demandé et ça fait des trucs concrets à faire qui change directement sa vie un eu comme Marie Kondo ou le livre Zéro Déchet de Béa Johnson.
Les principes de Next-Action, d’un projet = suite d’actions, différents niveaux de pensées/objectifs.
